New York Giants Tickets

"Hi sir," said the host, "and welcome to New York Giants Tickets."

Hmm, I thought. What an odd name for a restaurant. New York Giants Tickets. I was just on the verge of getting it when I realized that the restaurant was by no means called New York Giants Tickets. I had simply misheard him. How absurd!

"I'll have a fruit cocktail - and give me the works!"

"Sir, please...I...well, sir, a table should be ready in about forty five minutes to an hour."

"I...yes...well, um... OK, I'll just have a seat," I said, trying to hide my embarrassment.

The whole business of sitting and waiting made me feel like I was in purgatory so eventually I went to sit down at a table with a few major celebrities.

Before I was summarily removed from the restaurant, I produced my New York Giants tickets from my pocket and stone-facedly held them up to the host. He looked on with a distant sadness in his eyes as two brutes with guns marched me out into the back alley.