Cheap New York Hotel

You have seen me walking. I am exceptionally tall and I am a silly man, prone to whims.

The other day I was promenading down the streets of New York when I found a touching post card. It was written in a young man's handwriting. That much I know. The following is the unabridged content of that post card:

"Hi Ma,

"Awful sorry I ran away. I bet you're wondering where I am. I can't remember the name of it, but I'm staying in a cheap New York hotel. All the girls look at me funny. I guess it's time to stop carrying the blanket around. Hee haw. I wish I had a million dollars.

"Tell dad to stop doing that thing, you know, the hobby. I don't know. The cheap New York hotel is decent - pretty quiet, no interruptions. I get to do what I want there, which is nothing, as you might remember.

"Tell sis to stop pulling her hair out over my speculated death. I saw her on the news and she looked ridiculous. You too, by the way.

"Here comes a fire truck, can't concentrate. Going back to the cheap New York hotel to brush my teeth.

"OK. Send money.

"Love,

"Filibuster Calamari XXII"

When I read this, my friends, I wept as I hadn't since I was but a child.